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Saying No and Self-Care
Saying no helps us say yes!
Saying no is more than just a response, it’s a fundamental aspect of self-care and setting personal boundaries. It’s not something we learn in a society where being our true selves is yet to widely accepted.
But this theme — not doing things at our own expense — comes up a lot these days. It reminds me of Paulo Coelho’s wisdom: “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.”
We often put others first. It seems natural. We think it’s what’s expected. But this habit traps us. We feel guilty for taking care of ourselves. We label it as selfishness. But it’s not. It’s self-care.
Think about a friend. This friend always needs you. They demand your time and attention. But when you need them, they disappear. They take, take, and take. You end up feeling used and tired.
Or picture a colleague at work. They always need help, especially when you already have a full load. They promise to return the favor. But they never do. You’re left with extra work and are doing things at your own expense.
In these cases, are we ignoring our need? Why are we prioritizing others? It’s not generosity, it’s self-denial. It’s unhealthy. It leads to unhealthy resentment, exhaustion, and anxiety.
